Something Wasn't Right
It had to have been years before we really knew. We thought maybe it was his hearing, or maybe just old age. Really though, we were in denial. When I look back I can trace it to at least three years before his diagnosis. I wish I'd known the signs and symptoms then. Perhaps we could have delayed it better, but in the end, we got a diagnosis we never wanted and one we have dreaded ever since. In March of 2015 my father was officially diagnosed with Primary Progressive Aphasia Dementia. He was only 69 years old. Since that day, my life and my mothers life have been drastically different. She is after all his primary caretaker. I wanted to write this blog to address any questions, share my story, my point of view and most of all to inform. I hope I can help just one person, one person who may be in denial too, who doesn't know what to look for. After all, not all forms of Dementia are the same.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, the first time I really knew something wasn't right. It was July of 2012. I was living my Miami with my boyfriend (now husband) and our families were meeting for the first time. I was so excited. I just knew our parents would get along and be the best of friends. But the day went so much different than I'd dreamed. I was excited for my future father-in-law and my dad to talk golf, sports, politics; all things they both had similar if not matching opinions in, but when they met, while at our favorite lunch spot, Montys, my dad said no more than two words. I was confused and upset. After lunch, my confusion turned to anger. 'Why didn't he talk? What is wrong? Did he not like them?' My dad had little to say in response except that he did talk. 'Was he crazy?' I pushed it aside and thought maybe since we were out in public and it was the first meeting he was being shy and possibly couldn't hear well, he was in his 60's after all.
If you know anything about Dementia, you know there are many different forms. Perhaps you are just beginning this journey with a loved one, if so, I am so sorry. It only gets worse, it is such an unforgiving disease. This form of Dementia is the rarest, it typically effects women around the age of 65. In the end language capabilities become impaired. In my fathers case, he has almost completely lost the ability to talk and has completely lost the ability to read, and write. Within recent months, we are unsure of his memory, as he can't talk to confirm or deny, and he has developed Parkinsons.
On that Miami trip, I could have never imagined what was to come. My dad had been my quieter than Id expected and he had seemed much more task oriented. Instead of talking to me or hanging out with me he was completely focused on cleaning my apartment. While I didn't find this completely out of the ordinary, as he was always taking care of his little girl, I see now that this was just the beginning. I asked my mom while they were there if she thought any of this was weird, since she sees him on a day to day basis I assume she didn't notice a change, or didn't want to, but she just said he was being shy at lunch and would perk up. He did not. After they left that weekend, I felt confused, it was the first time (the first of many) that I'd feel that way after visiting with him.
As I continue to write the blog, I will share more of the journey from my view point, and more symptoms as it goes on. Since this was my first post, I felt it was fitting to share the first time I knew something wasn't right. Please feel free to reach out, ask questions and do research. As I said this is different for everyone, I hope I can help in some small way.
*Id also love to recommend a book that really helped me. Where the Light Gets In- Kimberly Williams Paisley
I remember the day like it was yesterday, the first time I really knew something wasn't right. It was July of 2012. I was living my Miami with my boyfriend (now husband) and our families were meeting for the first time. I was so excited. I just knew our parents would get along and be the best of friends. But the day went so much different than I'd dreamed. I was excited for my future father-in-law and my dad to talk golf, sports, politics; all things they both had similar if not matching opinions in, but when they met, while at our favorite lunch spot, Montys, my dad said no more than two words. I was confused and upset. After lunch, my confusion turned to anger. 'Why didn't he talk? What is wrong? Did he not like them?' My dad had little to say in response except that he did talk. 'Was he crazy?' I pushed it aside and thought maybe since we were out in public and it was the first meeting he was being shy and possibly couldn't hear well, he was in his 60's after all.
If you know anything about Dementia, you know there are many different forms. Perhaps you are just beginning this journey with a loved one, if so, I am so sorry. It only gets worse, it is such an unforgiving disease. This form of Dementia is the rarest, it typically effects women around the age of 65. In the end language capabilities become impaired. In my fathers case, he has almost completely lost the ability to talk and has completely lost the ability to read, and write. Within recent months, we are unsure of his memory, as he can't talk to confirm or deny, and he has developed Parkinsons.
On that Miami trip, I could have never imagined what was to come. My dad had been my quieter than Id expected and he had seemed much more task oriented. Instead of talking to me or hanging out with me he was completely focused on cleaning my apartment. While I didn't find this completely out of the ordinary, as he was always taking care of his little girl, I see now that this was just the beginning. I asked my mom while they were there if she thought any of this was weird, since she sees him on a day to day basis I assume she didn't notice a change, or didn't want to, but she just said he was being shy at lunch and would perk up. He did not. After they left that weekend, I felt confused, it was the first time (the first of many) that I'd feel that way after visiting with him.
As I continue to write the blog, I will share more of the journey from my view point, and more symptoms as it goes on. Since this was my first post, I felt it was fitting to share the first time I knew something wasn't right. Please feel free to reach out, ask questions and do research. As I said this is different for everyone, I hope I can help in some small way.
*Id also love to recommend a book that really helped me. Where the Light Gets In- Kimberly Williams Paisley
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