Christmas without Dad



This year has been full of so many memories, both happy and sad. So many big big ups and a few very large downs. This year will always be the year we welcomed Tommy, it will be the year Mike got promoted, we went to Naples, Disney, and Ormond. It will be the year my oldest baby turned 6, Mike and I celebrated six years married and nine years dating. And it will also always be the year we lost my Daddy.

Not to say Thanksgiving was easy to get through, but that was never a big holiday in my house growing up, and no day is easy without him, but this Christmas is the first "big" holiday without my Daddy and I dont think I'm ready for it. I have many Christmas memories but a favorite is when Michael was just a year old, we were going to Richmond to celebrate Christmas, it was the year we implemented our Thanksgiving in NJ, Christmas in VA plan. I thought it might be my last Christmas with my Daddy (I'm so glad that it wasn't) I remember calling my daddy a few days before Christmas to remind him of the holiday and the amazement on everyone's face when my dad excused himself Christmas morning. He went to rummage through his closet and find a gorgeous "key" necklace to give to my mom. The key to his heart. A gift he presumably went and got the instant I hung up the phone with him just days before. We all just stared. Bewildered. What was on his mind? How did he even buy this when he can't speak to even us? It still makes me cry. He loved us so much. He loved my mom so much. Even when he couldn't control his words, he was able to show her still. It was the last gift he ever gave her. A gift he really gave us all.

This year, there really isn't anything I want. I have everything I need, three healthy babies, an amazing husband, a gorgeous home, and a supportive mother. Sure, I wish my dad could share it with us, but I know he is in a better place, and I know he is watching over us every day, smiling, and laughing at the comedy our lives often are. This Christmas, I'll talk about the miracle that we experienced that Christmas and remember that love is the only real gift we need. I'll try to make the day as magical for my children as my parents did for me and hopefully, we will all be able to get through this Christmas with a little less heartache and a little more laughter. As always, hold your loved ones close this holiday season. Merry Christmas, everyone. And as Sophia will remind you,  The Grinch says "Maybe Christmas (he thought) doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” 

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